‘In your neighborhood,...in your neigh• bor• hood!’ There’s a furnace-cleaner in your neighborhood... Isn’t that the song they used to sing on Mr. Rogers or Sesame Street or one of those shows like that? Just got a call from furnace-cleaning company (Castle - something or other) and decided to have a little fun with them. My conversation went something like this with them…

Ring..Ring...unknown number shows up on my caller id telephone. Don’t recognize number as a normal telemarketer so silly me I answer it.

Silly-marketer (SM): “Hi, am I speaking with the homeowner of the house?”

Me: “No, I’m a burgler burglarizing this home...No, seriously, yes and with whom am I speaking?”

SM: “Oh, I’m with Castle (something or other) Maintenance Services and we’re working in your neighborhood.....”

Interrupting the caller I ask,

Me: ”In my neighborhood? Which house are you working at in my street?” (snicker, snicker)

SM: (starts giggling) “Heh, heh, we’re just beginning to work in your neighborhood.(names my neighborhood here)”

Me: “Oh, well there’s over 4000 homes in the area, which one?” (I ask probingly).

SM: “Ah, well (they stutter) we’re in a lot of houses in your area and in (names another area 10 minutes from mine as if I’m supposed to think that they’re my close neighbors too!) We’ve got 5 or 6 trucks in your area!” (She exclaims quite indignantly to me).

Me: (I laugh and ask) “5 or 6 trucks in the area and you can’t tell me which neighbor or house close to mine you’re in?” (Twist the knife a little deeper in).

SM: “Well no but have you had the service done before?” (Huh?)

Me: “What service are you talking about?”

SM: ”Furnace-cleaning!" (Really? After all this time on the phone with SM I now learn that the uninvited telemarketing call was for a furnace-cleaning outfit).

Me: “No, I don’t need it done because I own a furnace-cleaning company! (Not me but my family is in the heating and airconditioning business so I’d use them!) So, you see (I tell her with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek) my furnace-cleaning company is ALWAYS in my nieghborhood!”

SM: click.....unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

I guess that was a little wasted call for SM. But, it sure resulted in a little afternoon pleasure for me.

Folks if you own a service company like a furnace-cleaning company first of all:

• don’t call in the middle of the day - chances are no one will be home - they’ll be working.
• don’t lie about being in the neighborhood. Leave a message saying you were at address # such and such today (near your house) and they took advantage of our summer reconditioning service, or fall earlybird special or spring into action sales, etc. - thought you might be interested too (leave number for them to call). Or, you could say with all the homes in the neighborhood being of similar age and this one at address close to your house getting our service done, thought oyu might be interested, etc.
• send a mailer or postcard to the homeowner directly with a call to action incentive on it.
• try marketing your service with a complimentary service, exchanging leads, etc.
• get to your point quickly and be courteous....you don’t know who you’re calling or may be pissing off at the time.

Happy Marketing!