Need some great ideas on writing that resignation letter you’ve been procrastinating about? Check out this letter a writer named “D” wrote to their boss “J” as they left their employ; it’s hilarious.
‘Dear J.
After four years of listening to your hillbilly ass go on and on about things about which you have NO freakin’ clue, I’ve had enough. Please read on.’
’In the beginning, I thought you were quaint, nice, generous, and a good friend. I even thought your jokes were funny. I thought to myself, “How could I end up with such a nice guy for my boss?” Skip to the present and you find me perpetually grouchy as I drag myself into your presence each and every day of my life.
I’ve done some research, and also some snooping, and I have discovered that not only have you been screwing me for the past four years, you’ve also been stupid enough to leave the evidence for me to find. Your excuse for my pathetic salary has been your massive debts. But as I watch you suck as much money from this business as you can, it sickens me that your conscience does not kick in. You have told me it’s raining while you pee down my neck, you idiot. The business is being run into the ground, and you don’t care, as long as you think someone is going to buy it from you and become “your retirement plan.”
After four years of listening to your hillbilly ass go on and on about things about which you have NO freakin’ clue, I’ve had enough.
Well, you can have your business, because I am out.
And be sure that on my way out the door I will call OSHA and the FTC, as I am sure they will be very interested in learning about your business and its lack of safety and other requirements. You may be nicer than your predecessor, but that’s only to my face. Behind my back, you are taking advantage of a man and his whole family. When you’re rotting in Hell, I hope you think of all the people you’ve screwed to get yourself to the position to call yourself “The Owner.”
Bite me,
-D’
Too funny for words! If you want to read more of these types of letters go to Kiss My Freckled Ass Goodbye and give yourself a chuckle. And maybe some ideas. (Okay, I’m kidding).
